listening to ourselves

​Listening To Ourselves
As adults, one of the greatest mistakes we can make is to not listen to ourselves. We have feelings and reactions to every moment we experience.  We have unmet needs that are wanting to be addressed. We have desires and priorities. Most, if not all, of this is being overlooked as we prioritize the feelings, needs, and goals of others. We overlook ourselves in hopes that another will notice and care for us or in hopes that if we care for another we will be loved in return. 

What would your day be like if you simply noticed your feelings, needs, and desires?
What would it feel like if you attended to some of those feelings, needs, and desires?
And what would our world be like if we each loved ourselves in this way? 

Ways To Listen
Journal with a back and forth dialogue between yourself and a kind and compassionate part of yourself (such as your older wiser self, the memoires of a loved one's words to you, or a higher power).
Pause or slow down while you are talking and just notice the words you say.
Consider if your inner thoughts or spoken words are longing for something to be noticed and addressed.
Meditate and notice the thoughts that arise.
Ask yourself "what am I feeling". 
Ask yourself "what feeling scares me the most".
Ask yourself "what core need is being unmet". 
​Ask yourself "what matters to me today".

Resources:
If you struggle with tuning into your core feelings and needs: do a website search for NVC feelings and needs, request discussion of it with your therapist, or request a copy of the lists from the Center for Nonviolent Communication at https://www.cnvc.org/store/feelings-and-needs-inventory
If you want examples of of kindness/compassion: consider exploring guides such as Tara Brach books and podcast, Elizabeth Gilbert's letters from love, and Kristin Neff.