Just like me

Just Like Me
Categorizing By Default
How do we end division when our brain automatically wants to label and categorize? We label and categorize automatically because our brains were designed this way to help keep us safe. When our ancestors had to forage for food, the unknown was unsafe. So we learned to favor the known. 

This automatic process is not as helpful in our modern day lives. In fact, it leads to increased fear and hate when we use it to categorize people. Seeing "other people" as bad, simply because it's unknown to us is a default mode of thinking that you do not have to continue. 

Healing Division With Intention
If you have a desire to feel closer to your fellow humans, Pema Chödrön (Reference 1, p. 26) offers a practice she calls "Just Like Me". She suggests you go to a public setting and people watch. As you do so she suggests you say "Just like me, this person loses it sometimes. Just like me, this person doesn't want to be disliked. Just like me, this person wants to have friends and intimacy." What you say is not as important as how it feels for you to say it. The phrase you choose will likely be unique to you, something that touches your heart deeply in this moment. Perhaps a value or need that is important to you right now. By choosing something salient you will increase your ability to generate compassion and understanding for another fellow human. Imagine you're feeling scared and unsafe emotionally; in that moment it may help to think "just like me they feel scared and are longing for safety." 

Why Practice
We can find alignment with our fellow humans, be it strangers or a family member who doesn't agree with us. As we practice, we move away from anger and sadness and we cultivate love and connection.  

Reference 1: Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome, 2019, Chapter 3