Connection matters

Connection Matters
As humans, we all long to feel connection and belonging with others. For me, the holiday season increases my desire to feel connected to family and friends. However, like most Americans, I was nervous about being around family with differing political views this holiday season. I was recently ​

hiking with my family, and walking alongside a person with differing political beliefs. I usually avoid topics of politics with them, but while asking about their life, he said to me "we can't talk politics in families". Although this rang as true it also struck me as incredibly sad. How has this come to be? Shouldn't family be the safest place to show up as ourselves? I had been listening to others talk about politics for the last month, how could it be that I needed my family member to keep their thoughts to themselves? So I steadied myself, focused on my desire for connection, and asked how they were feeling about the election and nominations. I kept asking questions, because as I listened I realized what we had in common - desires for a country that valued honesty and health. I went from fearing a "lecture" or "bragging" to feeling aligned in our hopes for the country. 

Go At A "Safe" Pace
You don't have to "dive into the deep end" of topics to feel connection and belonging. Perhaps the circumstances aren't "right" in your family system to talk about politics. Start with what feels "safe" to your nervous system, because if you become fearful your efforts will more likely lead to disconnection and anger. So start small - look at a person you might otherwise avoid and offer them a smile and compliment. See what a difference you can make in increasing connection, togetherness, and unity. ​