Confidence (chapter 6 in resilient)

Confidence
At times confidence has been seen in a negative light - such as too egotistical and being "full of ourselves". Yet actually, the definition speaks to demonstrating reliability. It's not just about how we feel about ourselves, but also if and how we show up for ourselves.

Summary of Resilient: Confidence
Rick Hanson, Ph.D. links the development of confidence to how we were (or were not) attended to as children. He sees confidence as being sourced in a faith/trust in our caregivers that develops into faith/trust in ourselves. This then leads into our attachment style - along a spectrum ranging from insecure to secure. To help repair insecure attachment, Rick recommends the HEAL exercise to build a sense of feeling cared about. He shares a self-inquiry process to help us "imagine how a "fair-minded and warmhearted person would tell the true story of your childhood". And finally, he recommends treating others as we wish to be treated. These three actions are suggested as ways towards building confidence. 
For the second half of the chapter Rick speaks to ways we can unintentionally degrade our confidence. He encourages us to consider the way we interpret events in our lives. The mindset and inner reactivity can lead to negative self-talk and criticism. One antidotes he offers to counteract our inner critical voice is to distance  ourselves and witness the critical self-talk. Just noticing is a step in the direction of change. Also, he speaks to creating an inner "caring committee" made up of loved ones, role models, and even fictional characters to build up positive and encouraging self-talk. We are able to grow a sense of  confidence and seeing our goodness through little, and powerful, internal choices we make every day.

Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness
by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. with Forrest Hanson, copyright 2018
Chapter 6, pages 109-127