Calm (chapter 7 in resilient)

Calm
I intended to post about this chapter on July 1st, but I have had a full schedule. As the overwhelmed feelings kicked in this month I noted it as an opportunity to practice calming my nervous system. To stay out of fight/flight urgency mode my go to action is to slow down and decide what isn't actually urgent. Feeling calm is more important than meeting a self-imposed deadline. So I don't rush to fit it all in, in fact I try to let go of enough "to do" items that I make enough room for the actual urgent items and free time. 

Summary of Resilient: Calm
Rick Hanson, Ph.D. shares that the fight/flight nervous system (sympathetic) can include feelings of fear, anger, and/or helplessness. We each may have out go to ways to return to calm, some are healthy and some are not. He suggests skills of exhaling longer than inhaling, release muscle tension, try biofeedback, move your body,  and using imagery. Also, taking perspective can be helpful in most situations. Rick suggests asking yourself how big is it, how likely is it, and how bad would it actually be followed by using the HEAL tool to let the positive sink in. He speaks on the seductive nature of feeling and acting angry, but that noticing that anger hides our vulnerable emotions and acting out of anger harms others and ourselves. We will all have feelings of anger because it arrives in the amygdala "the brain's ancient alarm bell" first more quickly than the prefrontal cortex "the center of complex thought, careful planning, and nuanced understanding of people". Rick ends this chapter encouraging us to not let the amygdala hijack our brain and act out the anger, but to allow ourselves enough of a pause so the wise mind can catch up to help us make thoughtful choices about our behaviors.  

Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness
by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. with Forrest Hanson, copyright 2018
Chapter 7, pages 131-153