Reflection On Resilient: Aspiration
I read this while waiting at Les Schwab and scribbled notes in my book. One of my aspirations is to be a writer - and I wished that I'd brought my laptop along  to get started in that moment! If you are longing for a change - big or small - in your life I think you will appreciate the reflection questions. 

Reflection On Resilient: Courage
I really appreciated this chapter. I felt some relief in reading this chapter as Rick Hanson spoke on being discerning about identifying relationships that you want to grow or decrease intimacy (see 9/5/25 post). Which I think is so very critical - I believe a key to life is knowing our own heart and honoring it. 

Intimacy
Today I spent some time at the columbarium with my Dad's ashes. It was just me and him (my memory of him, his ghost, who really knows). For me, this felt intensely intimate, I brought my lunch and a crossword puzzle, and talked with him about my life and crossword puzzle clues. I was not planning to share this moment with anyone else, yet it feels important to demonstrate that intimacy comes in many forms. Being tuned into yourself, remembering a loved one, and sharing time with another are all ways to find closeness.  

​Listening To Ourselves
As adults, one of the greatest mistakes we can make is to not listen to ourselves. We have feelings and reactions to every moment we experience.  We have unmet needs that are wanting to be addressed. We have desires and priorities. Most, if not all, of this is being overlooked as we prioritize the feelings, needs, and goals of others. We overlook ourselves in hopes that another will notice and care for us or in hopes that if we care for another we will be loved in return. 

What would your day be like if you simply noticed your feelings, needs, and desires?
What would it feel like if you attended to some of those feelings, needs, and desires?
And what would our world be like if we each loved ourselves in this way? 

Motivation
Well I don't know about you but this chapter is well timed for my life! Summer time feels so exciting with the colors, the sun, and fun activities. It also brings for me more projects, travel, and socializing. And some how my personal projects and self-care are the first things to fall away. That is not uncommon for those of us that are helpers and people pleasers. So let's see if Rick can provide us with some ideas on how to stay motivated and focused on what matters most to each of us. 

Calm
I intended to post about this chapter on July 1st, but I have had a full schedule. As the overwhelmed feelings kicked in this month I noted it as an opportunity to practice calming my nervous system. To stay out of fight/flight urgency mode my go to action is to slow down and decide what isn't actually urgent. Feeling calm is more important than meeting a self-imposed deadline. So I don't rush to fit it all in, in fact I try to let go of enough "to do" items that I make enough room for the actual urgent items and free time. 

Confidence
At times confidence has been seen in a negative light - such as too egotistical and being "full of ourselves". Yet actually, the definition speaks to demonstrating reliability. It's not just about how we feel about ourselves, but also if and how we show up for ourselves.

"Kindness is the way through"
This is the motto of a person working at Little Griddle (on NE Freemont in Portland); they shared it with me when I expressed gratitude for what I witnessed....they were patient and friendly in the face of irritability and generous and kind when a customer shared about their grief. 

Gratitude
I have personally struggled to use gratitude. In my 20s and 30s I read a lot of self-help books and they frequently suggested a gratitude journal. I hated doing it and if I even bothered starting, I stopped early on. I don't recall the external excuses I used, but as I look back on that time in my life naming my personal successes and building a sense of self-efficacy would have been a better start for me. And although Rick Hanson did not call this chapter Gratitude and Self-Appreciation; he does teach us how to build an inner sense of both gladness and success within the chapter.